It's one of the hardest things for parents to hear.

"Your child had a great day."

Then they walk through the front door and everything unravels.

There are tears over the wrong cup. Arguments with siblings. Refusing dinner. Shouting. Crying. Sometimes complete exhaustion.

It can leave parents wondering: "If they managed all day at school, why can't they behave at home?" The answer may be simpler than you think.

Many children spend the school day working incredibly hard to meet expectations. They're listening, concentrating, managing noise, coping with change, navigating friendships and trying to do the "right" thing.

That takes energy.

By the time they get home, their regulation reserves may be running low.

Home is also where they feel safest. They know they don't have to keep holding everything together. Their emotions come out where they feel accepted.

This doesn't mean they're being manipulative or choosing to misbehave. Often, it's a sign that they've used up the energy it took to cope throughout the day. Rather than asking, "What's wrong with them?" try asking, "What has today required of them?" Sometimes the most helpful after-school routine isn't homework straight away.

It might be a snack, some quiet time, movement, a cuddle, time outside, or simply a chance to decompress before the next demand.

Every child is different, but all children benefit when the adults around them understand that behaviour is often a reflection of capacity, not character.

The next time your child falls apart after school, remember this: They may not be giving you their worst. They may be showing you where they feel safest.

If you'd like to find out more, please click the link below.

https://www.theregulationhourglass.com.au/download-co-regulation-quick-guide-free-ot-resource-1

Right support. Right time. Right state.

Warm regards, 

Beryl